Do not denigrate social institutions. This is rule number one of Jordan Peterson’s Beyond Order – 12 More Rules For Life, a follow up to 12 Rules of Life – An Antidote to Chaos.

Something I’m learning on the road is that while I absolutely love my own company and thrive in “me time”, I also cherish the company of others. What I’m observing is an apparent overcorrection on my part, a consequence of the “protect what you can control” phase I recently experienced. What I do in turbulent times is latch on to this me time as way to empty my head and think things through. During these phases, I just don’t have the mental space to shoulder anything except my own burdens. I steer clear of interaction for fear of what energy it may draw from me, precious energy I’m using to overcome trials and tribulations.

However, now feeling as though I’m sailing on smoother seas, I’m noticing the resurfacing of that craving for social interaction, and that currently it is valued above all else . When faced with the option of driving only a couple of hours to spend some more solo time at another classic stop on the journey north, or skipping that to drive a day to spend some time with friends, I opted for the latter. Although that didn’t come first. What came first was “why does the universe will it so that I be alone on this journey? Why did she not line up our plans so I could share some overlap with them?” Cue five minutes of frustration, before, and I am aware how obvious and silly this sounds, realising that I literally don’t have plans and the only thing stopping this from happening is me. So naturally, the next morning I woke at the crack of dawn, packed up camp and made my way up to see the boys.

Not  only had I found myself in one of the most beautiful spots in all of Australia, the welcome I received was second to none. The praise I received was adorable. From wide eyes at the use of a second table for dishes, to having a hard case for your eggs while on the road, and how could I forget the fish curry. The bloody fish curry. One night of fish curry for the boys led to heading into town for more coconut milk and curry paste for more fish curries. I was made to feel on top of the world, albeit for the simple things. What was meant to be a couple of nights soon turned into a few more, and before I knew it, it had been a week. My cup had been sufficiently filled by four beautiful boys – in no way as sexually as your dirty minds are thinking. However would I be opposed? I couldn’t truthfully say.

^{Days spent eyeballing the horizon for waves, whales and sunsets}

From what I can broadly make of it, to denigrate social institutions is turn your nose up at the social constructs that create a functioning society, from friendships, relationships and family, to social hierarchies, to the value of peers. For me, I found myself denigrating the social institution of friends. I broke rule number one. There’s a side of me that is so hard on being alone sometimes, a side that comes from this need to protect myself from being hurt, like I’m the only one I can trust not to hurt me. But its remiss not to acknowledge just how special it is to have people around you, and how even more special it is to have the coolest collection of friends that I have. While I stand by the need for the rejuvenation that  me-time provides during rough seas, there’s absolutely no need to punish myself into isolation beyond that.

I am so grateful to feel so comfortable in my own company, but there’s certainly times on the road where I find myself gazing upon groups of friends with a big ol’ nostalgic tug at the heart strings for all my beautiful beautiful beautiful friends.

We all need to think to keep things straight, but we only think by talking. We need to talk about the past so we can distinguish the trivial, overblown concerns that otherwise plague our thoughts from the experiences that are truly important. We need to talk about the nature of the present and our plans for the future, so we know where we are, where we are going, and why we are going there. We must submit the strategies and tactics we formulate to the judgement of others, to ensure their efficiency and resilience. We need to listen to ourselves as we talk, so that we may organise our otherwise inchoate (imperfectly developed) bodily reactions, motivations and emotions into something articulate and organised, and dispense with those concerns that exaggerated and irrational. We need to talk – both to remember and to forget.

Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life, Jordan Peterson